Why Nivdertag?

Hey everyone,
I’m starting a series of posts for a more behind the scenes look at our DIY wedding, mostly to document what we did, but also to maybe inspire others!

This is the first, all about the story of:
Nivdertag.
I suppose it’s the origin story.
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If you have seen any of my posts about the wedding on Instagram,
I always tag things with: #nivdertagwedding.

So what is Nivdertag?
Simple.
If you take the letters of our names (Davis and Gratien)
mix them all up,
then reorganize them,
that’s what you get.
Minus any repeats,
and, apparently, the s, as Danny pointed out.

But it was too late once he pointed it out.
I was already attached to the name Nivdertag,
and was not going to see it changed, even by a little s.

It all came about one day because I thought maybe we should come up with a new last name,
instead of me taking his name.*
We played around with the letters, jumble style,
and I came up with this one.

We have been laughing about it ever since.
It would be cool to change both of our names,
but we really liked the idea more than actually doing it.
We told his parents were wanted to though, as a joke,
and they both just stared at us, not saying a word.

I think someday I will probably write a character named Nivdertag (pronounced Niv-der-tog)
because it’s such a good name, and it’s got a great backstory.

For now, we still use it though,
as a nickname for the both of us.
I’m sure it will still be in hashtags for years to come.
Or until we stop using hashtags!

Next Saturday there will be a post about the proposal!

Until next time, bye for now,
KE

*note: I am not against people taking the name of their husband; I am FOR people thinking about the choice and choosing the one that works for them. Danny and I thought about it, and, ultimately, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of living as two people (Kathy Ellen Davis in the book world, Kathy Ellen Gratien in the legal world…) and I really love my name, so I’m staying as Kathy Ellen Davis.

I’m sure this goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway: I don’t love Danny any less because I didn’t take his name. He knows it, I know it, and we are working hard to let our family know that too. We are still a family, but I am still a Davis.

2 thoughts on “Why Nivdertag?

  1. I think I have that pen! And thanks for explaining the tag thing. I was curious.

    I do believe that different states have different rules about creating new last names. Most though have made it much more simple to do so. I have an aunt and uncle who did it almost half a century ago (oddly though, my cousin has my uncle’s original last name). I can only imagine the paperwork.

    I debated, by ultimately love my new last name. Combined, people assume I am a Chinese boy. Of course, six and a half years later, I think there is still one last place I need to change my name (it requires a notary). I was really amazed by some of the hoops I had to jump through (and how many places I expected to be a nightmare only required a phone call). And ultimately I think something may have gone wrong because once when I tried to sign up for the UPS service that allows you to monitor and schedule package deliveries, it said I did not exist (this despite that I have a UPS box).

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